Tuesday, February 28, 2006

The evening before...

Eventide, and a faint scent of rain pervades the dim twilit sky. Outside the window, I see the Sun has just set and the sky is changing colour from pink to black. It is very quiet, and there is a strange sense of anticlimax to having the Boards begin with English... for a few hours, I seem to be stuck in a time warp with no sense of past, present or future.

Studying is all done, so now I just wait until 10 PM to go to sleep. When I wake up, it will be March 1 and 21 days to go.

Laissez Allere, Alea Jacta Est, Good Luck, whatever...

Friday, February 17, 2006

Erin, Dartmouth and College

I learnt today morning that Erin had been accepted to Dartmouth.

Of a complex mass of feelings that rose up within me, the one which came to the fore was not that of great joy or that of empathy, rather it was that of unquestionable envy. It shocked me to the core and pushed my self-esteem down to nadir.

I cannot understand this. What is left when one begins getting jealous of one's closest friend? What is friendship if not to share in triumphs and defeats? Alright, so I desperately want to get admitted as well, but that is absolutely no excuse. I should have been feeling delighted, thrilled at the very least, joyous, but this...

When am I going to grow up? When will I banish the green-eyed monster from my soul? When will this self-obsession stop?

I hope it will come some day. At the moment I am completely ashamed of myself.


Moving on... Dartmouth is the only college in the Ivies having a Tolkien Society. 'Tis great for Erin- providing of course Princeton and Yale show up negative- which I doubt. For me, I think my best shot is at Yale- I already think I've screwed up Dartmouth by sending the Financial aid application one and a half months late- Yale has an Elizabethan society, the next best thing to a Tolkien society I suppose. Princeton has already deferred me, so they can sit and stew... if Prof Davis' recco didn't work for Early Decision, I don't think its going to work for regular either. And Harvard just mailed me saying my Sec. Report is missing... it's all coming undone at the hinges. Looks like its going to be Deshbandhu College after all...

Ah, I forgot Stanford. Strangely enough, I have given Stanford least thought, but now that I come to think of it, I have a nearly perfect application there. Financial Aid sent on time, thank the Lord... Three essays unlike one for the Common App, and I may flatter myself but I wrote raStanford- No idea;
Not very positive odds, these. Deshbandhu it is then...ther well... I somehow have a feeling at the back of my mind Stanford might just go right...


To sum up,

Chances at Dartmouth- 5-6 %
Chances at Yale- 15-16%
Chances at Harvard- Nil to 2 %
Chances at P'ton- 9-10%
Chances at Stanford- No clue

Not too great odds these... Deshbandhu it is then.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Thank you for the memories...

Seven years at school, most of which were spent in intense loneliness, in thinking and speaking on a parallel intellectual plane from most people, it has been very hard. Yet there have been some of my batchmates who have helped to make the journey less arduous, even helped to make me enjoy looking forward to school on the occasion. So many thanks folks, it's been great knowing you...

Gautam Khazanchi- Friends from seventh, and as far as I can remember we have never quarreled. One of the few school-teamers who has never jeered at me on the football field, take a bow Khazzu. And thanks, thanks a billion for you- know-what.

Akshay Aggarwal (Aggu)- We used to dream about being geneticists back in class IX, and working together in the same lab. That will probably never come true, but anyway we had some great discussions on the back seat in the classes of Annapoorni, RD and the rest.

Sumeet Singh (Sumo)- Only got to know Sumo in class IX, but for four years he's always been a true friend, and one of the best people I know. Cheers.

And last, but far from being the least-

Sahil a.k.a Waajil Chaacha a.k.a Darjee: If I were to choose one person from my time at the school who could be called a best friend, it's Sahil. We've had some great times... bunking morning assembly in Seventh... those Harry Potter "antaksharis" (shudder!) we used to play with Bharat, Ghosh, Arjun... our obsession with Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon and Star Wars in class 8... those brilliant conversations on the phone... the way we struggled and fought together to get into the Quiz team... the ecstacy and the agony of Columban Open, the excruciating pain of missing out in Young World, the rapid-fire round of Helpage... we shared all of that and they were such wonderful experiences... and of course, all those football games in the Sunlit Park. It was great while it lasted.

Some others then. The Brotherhood- Rust, Kroddy, M.D, Daani, Bhatt, Bagri, Deba.... what times we had! Awadhesh... we were never close, but you still remain one of the most dignified and restrained persons I know... Purva... at least there was one person who, from the outside at least, didn't seem to think I was some strange eccentric from Mars. Thank you everyone.